| | Current Music: | not today | | Time: | 09:01 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/dwaggins/determined.gif) rushed |
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| I really love colorado. When I came back to Atlanta in the middle of May, I was homesick for colorado for about a week.. bad. Now I really dont want to go back because I am getting way too attached to home again. I enjoy going to work and learning things on my own and doing my own thing in my own time and not being rushed by any particular schedule. The thing about college is-- you're way more free.. but you also have a shit load to do-- or want to do, but time management is basically essential to be able to do all of it. I'm not very good at that. I'm really working on it. I make lists for what I have to do and set a time limit so I can attempt to get it done.. but I usually disregard the time limits.. and end up doing probably two things out of the seven..
..Ok this has been pointless so far.
What I mean to say is that I have gotten used to and comfortable with working, chilling on the weekdays, going out on weeknights, doing a lot on the weekends, and doing what I want when I want to do it. When August 1st comes around, I have about a week of condo planning in Colorado. Drum camp starts the 13th. Band camp is immediately after that. The 1st football game is labor day weekend. Classes start a week before that. Everything will be rolling in and rolling away faster than I can wrap my head around what is happening. This SUCKS! I really want to enjoy this year even more than I did last year, but that may proove to be a very extreme task.
I think I'm going to have to begin Tai Chi again.. that stuff really reduces stress, honest.
Point of the story is I may have an anxiety attack right before school starts.
AND I feel like buying really fabulous clothes. | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| | Current Music: | aware, rust & repair // daphne loves derby | | Time: | 11:22 pm |
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| monday, february 13th
the bad:
-- getting in a little fenderbender this morning
-- the band concert?
-- missing the weekend. especially conyers.
the good:
-- 1350 on the SAT (720 on math whoo)
-- getting 96% of the math questions right
-- talking to this kid joe for 40 minutes
-- gummy bears
the whatever:
not doing any homework | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 07:37 pm | | Current Mood: | cynical |
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| aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
** EDIT**
Everyone sees me as this always-happy person. and most people have told me that to my face "i always see you in the halls and youre never sad" or "when i think of you, i can't think of sadness" and i hate this because whenever i do get angry or depressed, its always "whats wrong" or "okay" or most people just blow it off because it just isnt "sam" no one likes me sad and dont know what to do with me. "oh, it'll pass" well of course it will pass but it doesnt lessen the pain of time. I'm not sure if its because i have close to zero close relationships- enough that people will sincerely be sad with me- and if i have just completely cut these relationships off for some reason and just don't want to reach that level. im probably afraid of it. or just bored with others' misery. insensitive, right? yeah im an asshole. sometimes. other times i really do care. a lot. a lot a lot. even when i try and spill to my -best friend(s)- it seems like it doesnt matter to them and im complaining just to complain and i feel like a complete asshole for doing it in the first place and never want to do it again. ever. i think thats why i seem insensitive to others because im afraid to create that tie and then feel obligated to share my own crappiness.
point of the story (sort of)
i hate being depressed. i hate being looked over like i dont matter. i hate being just "the friend" that everyone (sorry, conceited) likes but no one really knows. think about it. you dont know me. is there anything to know? | | comments: 12 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | friends, illegal actions, illegal substances, and drifting. | | Time: | 12:38 am |
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| Today not bad at all.
Band practice after school.
always fun.
after:
Josh + Sam + katie +
fellini's pizza +
400 forks +
party? no party? +
george, tom, fred, freida +
steve miller band
=
so much fun.
after (around 11):
Brent in the parking lot? +
his friends +
racing.. 90 on PTI on the way home
tomorrow:
All-state
Conyers Crew.
yay!
Brent's Birthday. 17. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | mah incubus CD | | Time: | 07:38 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/dwaggins/snore.gif) tired |
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| Target advertisement on Yahoo!:
the gifts that Satan Forgot
wtf>@|
oh. santa. i gotcha.
mmm i love protein. gotta build muscles/get in shape for the austin, texas soccer showcase. yeah bitch.
today: protein shake/bar every two hours from rise to bed.
tomorrow and tuesday: fruit every 2 hours (ill fit it into school somehow) until dinner. protein (chicken, eggs, shake) and veggies.
thursday -- sunday: carbs. bread, veggies, fruit, a little protein.
next week: start over until tournament.
Soccer practice 5 times a week. 3 weekdays and 1-2 on weekend.
these small meals all day are changing my eating habits like crazy. i ate an hour ago and my tummy is rumbling again. hey, atleast its speeding up my metabolism and detoxing my body from this break. yess.
im excited. i love my team and was on the verge of breaking down because i saw none of them over break. horribly rough. today was amazing seeing them again i was SOOO excited and so was everyone else.
today's practice was a bitch, though. Ken (i love ken) reprimanded us for not running or working out over break. we did many suicides at the end of practice and just RAN. needless to say i was winded.
on another note on today, i went bowling with adna, colin, and tom. it was sooo good to see them (hahah tom) again and just hang out. boo college. the last game was awesome hahahah how many times can you bounce the ball off of the bumpers before hitting the pins??
OOOOk
Im Out
Yay another stressful
week. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | We Don't Play Guitars // Chicks on Speed | | Subject: | :-) | | Time: | 02:43 pm | | Current Mood: | this weird feeling that idk |
|
| Merry Christmas!
yes, I did get less presents than Jesus this year (one)
yes, i am in california with my family
yes, I did get my own laptop
:-)
the sad part though is that it does not feel like christmas.
i mean, for christmas eve dinner last night we had lasagna, italian pizza (no sauce/cheese only food), enchiladas, and taquitos?
i love my family. as italians, our family get-togethers are loud and centered around food.
grandparents, great-grandparents, great-uncles and aunts, uncles and aunts, second cousins (i sadly have zero cousins. i know.) and there were only.... about 20 of us. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| iTunes Song Quiz
Sort by artist
First artist: A Change Of Pace
Last artist: Zao
Sort by song title
First Song: (Unknown) // Relient K
Last Song: Your Star // The All-American Rejects
Sort by time
Shortest Song: Foreward // Linkin Park (0:13)
Longest Song: Lunacy Fringe // The Used (789:57:13) -- but its fucked up. i guess ill delete it.
Sort by album
First Album: 2005 Warped Tour Compilation [disk 1]
Last Album: (its blank).. // Mourning Maxwell
Top 5 Played Songs
1) In My Place // Coldplay
2) Ohio Is For Lovers // Hawthorne Heights
3) She Will Be Loved // Maroon 5
4) Hey Girl // Dashboard Confessional
5) Niki FM // Hawthorne Heights
First song that comes up on shuffle: Thank You For The Venom // My Chemical Romance
How many songs come up when you search for "sex"? 4
How many songs come up when you search for "death"? 12
How many songs come up when you search for "love"? 59 | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Rains in Asia // Jump, Little Children | | Time: | 11:42 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/dwaggins/smile.gif) happy |
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| ANN + JUMP, LITTLE CHILDREN = GLORIOUS
oops.. DBQ now.. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| i was on the verge of going to sleep when
brent called
and i was informed that:
1. i have to make him a rock cd. with none of that soft shit. hardcore.
2. i am getting new subwoofers because his friend is selling them for cheap and he didnt want to spend the money himself
3. i am to give my CB radio to brent because his PA system wont work with his CB radio. its fucked up
and
4. brent is making me chill with the ghetto wesleyan kids after exams (theirs HAH) | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | bend and not break <3 // dashboard confessional | | Time: | 10:21 pm | | Current Mood: | happy |
|
|
dominatrix, bitch!!
im scaring myself.
<0 <-- ice cream cone!!
<00 <-- double scoop!
im done.
i am very happy at this moment. that is all.
and procrastinating like no other mofo around. | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
| "a test? whats so exciting about a test?"
"do you play golf?"
"yes"
"you explain yours, ill explain mine"
hahah old school gg makes me giggle | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| Prison Break just ended its finale in the second biggest cliffhanger, possibly first, that i have ever seen. Possible second being to last season's Gilmore Girls. New episodes for Prison Break start in MARCH. I am very enraged right now.
i was really getting in to it. i told my dad and he was like, "i guess. if you like people killing eachother everywhere" but he only started watching when the guy slit Jesus-man's throat behind his back after Jesus-man forgave killer sketch guy. Turned his back and BAM. They found him and he was about to die as he was being transported by helicopter to Chicago. Don't know how he is.
The episode stopped when they were about to break out and the way was blocked by a new tube and killer sketch guy starts freaking, pulls out a knife, and starts getting feisty as he backs college-smart-boy up into the corner. and CUT SCENE. What are you going to do, attempt to kill the guy when 4 of his close friends are standing right next to you. Not to mention there is no way of getting out of the room unless a guard finds you and brings you back to your cells. Major trouble then. Dumbass.
MARCH!! too many months | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| Wow
I slept from 7pm-8AM
i havent done that in years. wow.
brunch this morning. i made muffins. mom made fresh-squeezed orange juice, omelletes, ham, and peach bread. mmm.
im off to my uncle jeff and aunt T's house for thanksgiving all day.
please feel more than free to call :-)
post script- i feel really sick
post post script- spencer has a staff infection. from his knee to his groin. gross. lethal if not treated. ultra-nasty.
EDIT///*****
i just half-remembered my dream from last night. it was REALLY random. maybe because i slept 13 hours and then dozed in and out for about an hour and a half.. maybe.. but anyways. THE DREAM!!
so i just remember bits and pieces.. christine asked me to go to taekwondo practice with her a day that (whichever) week. it was halloween time. me and a guy (?) and another one of my friends were going through my closet and i was like.. i TOTALLy didnt know i owned these amazing clothes. and then i began plans in my head how to alter them and make them into amazing clothes. and then i went to see harry potter with friends? i dont know who. and i went on a cruise with ktk i think? and then.. and then there were pumpkins in my room and it was really dark except for these 2 little dim lamps in each corner and my window was across from my closet (window facing the front of the house) and it was REALLY dark outside. and i got drunk somehow and i.. oh! thats who i went to see harry potter with. it was my boyfriend (?) and.. yeah. thats about all i can remember right now.. | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
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